The overhead fluorescent light flickered, making me dizzy.
The sound of the doctor’s voice announcing the countdown to the kidney transplant echoed in my ears.
I suddenly realized I had been reborn. Without hesitation, I pulled the oxygen tube out.
Struggling, I sat up on the operating table,
“Dr. Lucas, I’m not going through with the surgery. I’m giving up treatment.”
Dr. Lucas was shocked, repeatedly emphasizing that my body couldn’t afford to wait any longer and that if I missed this chance, I might not find another matching donor in time.
I thanked him, but I remained firm.
Dr. Lucas sighed in resignation and notified everyone to cancel the surgery.
After signing the organ donation consent form, I returned to the Downtown Loft I shared with Ryan.
I started packing my bags.
I had been diagnosed with kidney failure in the second year of our marriage while we were trying to conceive.
At that time, Ryan and I were constantly at odds because of Claire Young. I thought having a baby might bring us closer, but instead, I received
the terrible news about my health.
Strictly speaking, Claire wasn’t really Ryan’s ex–girlfriend.
She appeared in his life while I was abroad pursuing my ballet career, and they never officially became a couple.
Back then, I was ambitious and determined not to give up my career for love.
And I succeeded, becoming the principal dancer of the Joffrey Ballet in just two years.
When I returned, I found out Ryan had been waiting for me all those years.
His devotion moved me beyond words, and memories of our time together as students filled me with warmth. I accepted his proposal.
It was only after we married that I learned about Claire Young.
I discovered they had nearly become a couple, but my return to the U.S. had torn them apart.
Because of my upbringing, I’ve always been sensitive and insecure in relationships.
Ever since learning about Claire, I couldn’t sleep at night, and the arguments between Ryan and me grew more intense.
I questioned him, asking why he claimed to love me but still had feelings for someone else.
He accused me of being unreasonable and making things up.
As the fights escalated, Ryan started working late just to avoid coming home.
It wasn’t until I sought help from a therapist that I realized I still loved Ryan, this man who had been such a huge part of my youth.
So I called him and asked him to come home.
That night, he rushed back, embracing me as if he never wanted to let go.
He promised he would transfer Claire to another city and focus on our marriage from then on.
12:31 PM
It was around that time I went for a check–up, planning to start preparing for a baby.
Later, the doctor told me they had found a matching kidney donor.
The donor wished to remain anonymous and didn’t want to reveal their identity.
I understood.
But I never imagined that person would be Claire.
The day after my surgery, Ryan sat by my bedside with red eyes and told me we owed Claire a huge debt.
From that point on, he showered her with care and attention.
I couldn’t show any dissatisfaction. If I did, I’d be seen as ungrateful–a heartless woman.
I could only watch as Claire slowly took Ryan away from me.
I was powerless to stop it.
In the end, I wasted away from the stress.
When I died, Ryan stayed by Claire’s side, refusing to leave her for a moment.
This time, I’ve chosen to let them be.
To free myself.
