Unspoken Tides
Chapter!
The phone hizandon the counter, and without looking, I knew it washân. Mex. He always called at the oklest hours.
*Lane. “bis voice came through the line, casual and man, as if he did’n helilile power to shatter my work.“Ireedustell you something.” Deanedagainst the kitchen counter, buditing a dish towel in my hand. “Hey, Nex What’s up?
There was a panise. That sight besitation from him. It wasn’t like hims
Fi’m engaged,” he said, just like that. Noperable. No balkhap. Just the words,
The novel slipped from my dinge Kand hit the floor, Igripped the edge of the poster as it it might stop me from crumbling “What? “yeah,” he said, his more carying amodimix of excitement and nerves. “Iles natte’s Sophia. I think you’ll really like her. She’s amazing,”
My beachspam. I apened my meth, but no sound cam
“sub” | lied, wwallowing hand. “Yeah, Eriline jest wow. That’sHgnews.”
* samed you to it from me, “he said, as if that made it better. “We’re throwing ampigipement panty test werkend I’d love for you to come. It wouldn’t feel right Tight. Because nothing worries combat hilos matching the man you love celebrate his future with someone else.
“Of coupe.” I said, my voice basely above a whisper. “I wouldn’t miss it ”
“Gomat. Til send you the details.” He paused, then added, really means to me, Lin You‘ bha big part of my life. I couldn’t imagine doing this without you.”
“I murmured, clinching the enten harder to steady myself. *1’ll see you there,”
The line went dead, and for a moment, so did
The first time I met Alex, I was five years old. My mom had just brought over a plate of brownies to welcome the new neighbors, and 1 cappedaling, clinging to her had.
Air opened the door, all gangly limbs and a crooked grin. He was merin, which to my five–year–old sell might as well have been thing.
“pl” he said, looking down at me. “What’s your name?”
“cool name.” he replied, rufting my hair. “I’m Alex. Touke biken
And just like that, he became my favorite person in the world
He taught me how to ride my finur bike. Hin hand steadied the seat a 1 pedale sobbly riches around the cul–de–sac. He never laughed when Hell, just dused me off and encouraged me to
By the time I was seven, I was allowing him around like a shadow. He let me tag aking on adventures with |
a grin, pulling me along to the next escapade,
chiends, even when they teased him about it, “She’s my sidekick,” he’d say
The
flooded back as ank on the couch, the phone milletched in my hand
I could see it so clearly – the two of us riding bikes through the neighborhood, playing hide–and–seek in the trash, and staying up late talking about everything and nothing.
He was my best friend, my protector, my first love.
And he had no idea.
“I’m escaped.” The words replayed in my mind, louder and more
more painful each time.
1ted to imagine him with Sophia–holding her hand, laughing at her jokes, looking at her the way I always wished he’d look at me,
in burt more than I thought it would.
Later that night, I sat alone in the dark, playing Alex’s was over and over in my head.
Thought about all the times almost rold him how I felt. The late–night phone calls, the stolen glances, the moments when the words sat on the tip of my songur but never made it out. “Lauren, you’re my best friend,” la’duld once, after I’d helped him through a rough breakup. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
l’amiled and nodded, hiding the sing behind a mask of indilimmer.
But nose, as I mar there alone, the mask cracked.
Η
I duuught back to my seventeen birthday, when he’d supribed me with tickets to see my favorite hand we’d spent the entice wight singing along, laughing until our voices were hoarse. On
I’d wanted so badly to tell hins that be made everything better for me, tou That my imant razed every time he locked at me, that I stayed awake at night replaying every moment we spent
Louvinced myself it wasn’t the right time, that there’d be a better moment to tell him how i frh.
The glow of my phone caught my eye, and picked it up text from Alen.
“I’m so glad we talked today. You’re the best, Las Don’teve Jox pri that.”
stared at the seperti, thur wasa da Burring actears filled my eye
What did be expect me to say! That was this? That couldn’t want to chale while to the sidelines, pretending to be happy?
I dropped the phone onto the coffee table and baried my face in my handb.
What about me, Alex?” Ewhispered into the silence. “What am I supposed to do without you?”
The next morning, I woke to sunlight streaming through the blinth and a dull ache in my chest. I stated at the ceiling, trying to summon the energy to face the day.
My phone buzzed again, and ten a moment, I considered ignoring it. But curiosity won out, and I reached for it, half–expecting another test from Alex.
Instead, it was an invitation to the engagement party, complete with a picture of Alex and Sophia smiling together.
They looked perfect–like they belonged together.
Sty stomach twisted, and set the phone dren, fighting the urge to throw it across the room
This was my reality: ow. Alexwas getting married, and I had to figure out how to live with it.
I thought back to the times he’d been there for me–when my dog died, when I didn’t get into my first–choice college, when i thought I’d failed at life. Alexhad always been my anchor, the nor person tool count on no maltej slut.
But now I had to learn how to stand on my
Thad to let him go.
The thought made my chest tighten, but deep down, I knew it was the only way forward. “I’m happy for you, Nex,” I whispered into the empty room, even though it wa
♥. “I just wish
wish I could be happy for me, too”
