Book 1: Chapter 16
That shower was probably one of the best I’d ever had in my life. I stayed under the spray until my mind stopped spinning. I wasn’t sure how long I’d been in there but I knew it was long enough for the second round of what I imagined would be many more tears to finally stop.
I felt drained. Empty.
bailed
Without the noise of the water I could hear Aidan in the other room. Unsure what he was doing, but comforted by the fact he hadn’t as soon as he let me into the apartment owned by the Club, Bess had informed me just before I took the stage that Aldan would be driving me there as soon as I was done on stage. And that I’d be staying there, rent free, until in her words “I packed my shit and left that cheating fuck face in my rear view mirror.
As I dried myself with one of the softest towels known to man my mind went to Aidan. How he’d been quietly supportive since we’d left the club. Sensing I wasn’t up to talking, he’d made idle comments every now and then or given my arm or neck a gentle squeeze.
When we’d got to my apartment and I saw the remains of our anniversary dinner on the table I’d lost it. He hadn’t hesitated to pull me into his arms and let me bawl my eyes out. Seeing that table and remembering that a few short hours ago I’d been waiting to celebrate our seven year mile stone now seemed surreal. My life was in shambles and the man I thought I’d spend my future with had been regularly hooking up with strippers.
He’d held me until I got myself together. Making quiet noises of support and calming stroking my back and my hair. I shouldn’t have felt so comfortable in another mans arms but there was something so solid and safe about him.
Once I got myself together Id gathered a week’s worth of clothes and Aidan got my large suitcase down from the hall closet while I’d packed up some toiletries, my kindle, chargers and laptop. When he gently suggested I apply for some leave I’d started crying again, I was meant to shadow my mentor tomorrow and because of Grant’s behaviour I knew I wouldn’t be in any state to support her professionally, God! I was so mad at him!
After sending her a quick message explaining I had a family emergency and would be off this week we’d jumped into Aidan’s truck and headed for the Club’s apartment. My mind had shut down during the drive. Unable to think about what I’d experienced tonight or what my next steps would be. I’d stared out the window not seeing anything.
Pulling up outside the building had ended my moment of peace and my eyes filled with tears when I realised I’d be sleeping somewhere other than with Grant this evening. Apart from the nights he stayed in the work apartment we’d never spent a night apart. I didn’t have any family to visit and when we stayed with his parents we’d always shared the garage apartment I’d lived in the last year of high school. I felt my eyes fill with tears when I realised I wasn’t just losing Grant but his family as well.
Aidan was so gentle with me as he helped me from the car and handled my bags. I felt like a zombie, shuffling along beside him, not engaging and only partially present. The building had good security, and a doorman. He explained the safety features and Introduced me to the man at the front desk. Giving him my name and explaining rd be staying for at least a week. He handed me a swipe card for the entry door. He explained they were for after hours access but I didn’t really plan on going anywhere anyway. Once he’d gotten me safely inside the apartment he sent me straight into the bathroom for a shower sensing Ineeded some time alone. I’d let the warm water cover me as my heart broke and tears joined the water pouring over my face.
Shaking my head to clear myself from those thoughts before I started crying again I pulled on some leggings and a t–shirt. Reaching back into the bag I remembered I hadn’t packed any hoodies as they all belonged to Grant and I couldn’t face putting them in my suitcase. I regretted it now because despite my warm shower I was freezing. I felt cold down to my bones and I needed the comfort only a soft oversized hoodie could bring. Maybe I’d jump on Amazon later and order myself a new mens XL hoodie that wasn’t tainted by Grant Putting my hair up in the towel to soak up the last of the water I headed out to find Aldan.
“Hey.”
He turned at the sound of my voice and stopped unpacking groceries into the fridge. I could see milk, bread, juice and what looked like cheese and deli meat already inside.
Book 1 Chapter 16
“Hey you. Do you feel better after a shower?”
“I feel clean. Not sure about better. Don’t think I’ll feel better for a long time.”
“Oh sweetheart you’ve had a rough night. You’re shivering. Didn’t you pack any warmer clothes?”
At that question I felt my bottom lip wobble and he immediately closed up the fridge and walked towards where I was standing in the lounge. The apartment was small, Just one bedroom with an ensuite plus an open plan lounge and kitchenette.
7 don’t have any hoodies of my own, I usually wear Grant’s old college ones and I couldn’t face bringing those here.”
He immediately put his hand behind his head and pulled his hoodie off in that way that only men can do. He stepped close to me and I automatically raised my arms. I wanted the comfort I knew that hoodie would bring. Feeling the hoodie, warm from his body I immediately felt warm and settled. It felt like a hug in clothes form.
“I understand where you’re at. Trust me I do. But tomorrow will be better. Once you get some food in your belly and some sleep you’ll be in a better position to make some decisions about what you want to do next. And I’ll be there to help.”
“What do you mean?”
“Whether you want to talk things through with Grant and reconcile or whether you’re done with him and need help finding a new place. Il be there.”
“Why would you do that? And what do you mean reconcile? He’s been screwing strippers, that’s not something I can get past Aidan!” I felt my anger flare at the thought he expected me to forgive him. Was that Bro Code? Had I misjudged this man?
He gave me a considered look, clearly taking his time before he replied.
“I know right now you say you’re done with him. But you’ve been together seven years. If you talk to him and decide you can forgive him and move forward there’s no shame in that. Only you need to live with your decision.”
I frowned at him but didn’t interrupt.
“I’m not saying I think you should forgive him, I personally want to ring his neck, but I understand if you want to try. When I went through the shit with my fiance and cousin my first reaction was obviously anger. I mean I got arrested for beating him to a pulp. But after I was released I can admit I had a moment where I thought I wanted to try and forgive her, do counselling, We’d been together three years. Planning a life. I loved her. But then all the lies came out and the situation was taken out of my hands. All I’m saying is that I think your man is going to fight for you. So you’ve got to take this week to work out whether you can forgive him and if you want to? Work out what’s right for you. Nobody else.”
“I don’t think I can forgive him even if I wanted to. He knows how I feel about infidelity and that’s what makes it worse for me. He saw what my father’s behaviour did to my mum, how it ruined my life. Yet he did it anyway. And how do I know this was the first time. I’ve always trusted him so blindly how do I know that he hasn’t been hooking up with women our whole relationship?”
“I can’t answer that. And neither can you without a conversation with him. But I think you need to give yourself a few days to think. With nobody giving you any input, because everyone will have an opinion. Your girlfriends, workmates, everyone. Give yourself the time. to work out what is right and then call me. Im your safe space. Judgement free. If you want to talk through your decision when you’ve made one. I’m there. If you want me there when you first see him. I’m there. If you want me to help pack up the rest of your stuff and move you into your new place, I’m there.”
“Thank you Aidan. I’m not sure where I’d be if you hadn’t been on that front door tonight. I went there with no real plan, secretly hoping that I was somehow wrong but deep down knowing I wasn’t. If you hadn’t been there to look after me I’m not sure what would have happened so please know how grateful I am.”
He gave me a sad smile and pulled me into his strong arms. A place I was getting too comfortable being
“Td do anything for you Emily. You’re a special girl and the way you’ve been treated is bullshit. Whatever comes from your this week and then your conversation with Grant please know you deserve better. If you do take him back please set clear boundaries and stick to them. Don’t let him hurt you again. I can’t stand the thought of you hurting and I won’t be there to help.”
thinking
I tilted my head back and looked into his face. This man who had no reason to show me such kindness, but who’d been nothing but supportive and respectful since the moment I met him.
Book 1: Chapter 16
While I studied him, he studied me. His eyes traced my entire face, taking in my every feature before returning to my lips. Over and over. I could feel the tension in the room shifting but knew I wasn’t ready for that, Wasn’t ready for this man. Any man in fact.
“Aidan….”
“I know sweetheart. As much as I want to, I’m not going to kiss you. I wouldn’t do that to you in this state. Doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about it. Imagining it. Thinking of what it would feel like and wishing that we’d met under different circumstances.”
I let my head fall onto his chest with a thump and gave him a tight squeeze before stepping back. Giving us both a little space. Outwardly I was avoiding what he’d said, while internally I was thinking of nothing else. Another life…
Aidan headed back to the kitchen and finished putting away the groceries he’d obviously ordered. I must have been in the shower longer than I realised for them to be delivered already.
“Bess called. She tallied up your money. You made $3,712 and change tonight. She’ll drop it with the doorman tomorrow and said you’re welcome back any time.”
“Wow! That’s a lot of money for two minutes.”
“It is but you’re worth it.”
He was watching me with gentle eyes. He cleared his throat.
“I’m going to head out. There’s some hot soup and bread on the bench if you’re hungry, otherwise it’ll keep for tomorrow. The fridge is packed with the basics so you don’t have to go anywhere for a few days. I’ve left the wifi password plus both Bess and my numbers on the notepad on the coffee table. Call if you need anything.”
I watched him collect his keys and unsure if I’d ever see this man again knew I couldn’t let him leave without saying something. “You’re a special guy Aidan. This has been the worst night of my life apart from the day my mum died. Having you there helped. The way you’ve taken care of me. A stranger, I just don’t know what to say. Thank you doesn’t seem enough.”
I walked towards him then and he put his arms around me. As if it was automatic. I soaked up his warmth and strength because I knew once the door closed I was going to be alone. I might never get another one of these hugs.
“Please open your heart. Find a girl to love because she’ll be the luckiest girl in the world. You deserve that. I want that for you. And in another life you’re right, I think we could have been something extraordinary.”
I choked on the last of my words and knew I needed to step back. It wasn’t fair to him and I didn’t need any more complications right now.
“Take care sweetheart and call if you need anything okay.”
I didn’t look up to watch him leave. I couldn’t. As I heard the locks engage on the door I felt the first tears fall and I sat on the couch watching the sun rise through the balcony door before they finally stopped and I fell into a deep and restless sleep.
